Photo by: alfarman looking up

By day, I am a software developer, and I really enjoy it. I’m a problem solver, a systems-thinker, and I get to exercise this talent continuously. If I were to take a career aptitude test, I’m pretty sure that I’ve followed their recommendations to a tee. It fits my personality, my brain is wired this way.

But something in me is off kilter. Like so many others, I’ve learned that I’m prone to chronic stress. I spent my twenties living in it, sometimes feeding off it as a source of energy, motivation and self-control. But now in my thirties, it feels like a condition. The negative side effects are becoming more visible, or maybe I’m just more aware of them. My panic episodes stem from day to day events. The immediate physiological symptoms are hideously predictable to me. I sit in wonderment as my body reacts, preparing myself to run from a surprise prehistoric attack of a rival tribe.

But the equation doesn’t add up. I have a great life! I live in a beautiful place, I’m interested in my job, have an amazing life partner, I eat right, finances are in order, great friends, etc etc etc. How does that form a foundation for stress? I’ve been frustrated and baffled, at times questioning my sanity.

I’m starting an experiment because I have a theory.

Does inner peace stem from giving away something that you are passionate about?

My friend Sean has tried to convince me on a few occasions to start a website for women in technology (okay… he actually envisioned “Tech Babes”, a place to prove that women can be geeks and still be sexy, but I’ll forgive him for that). The problem is, I don’t have a voice inside me encouraging me to share my technical know-how. There are thousands of brilliant developers who keep blogs, sharing code, home-brewed applications, speaking at conferences, actively exchanging ideas. But that’s not me. I might take up the opportunity sometime, but I don’t feel driven to do it. It’s not part of my path, I feel very certain about it.

But here I am, thinking about Food and Yoga. These are two things for which I feel compelled to emit my thoughts, ideas, experiences and recipes. I feel like I want to “teach” others, starting from this platform. I don’t mean a unilateral dictation of my subjective self, but outwardly sharing a piece of my inner self, starting a conversation and and exchange. I want to give this away, and uptake energy and ideas from others.

Is occurred to me yesterday that this practice may have an effect on my stress. This wasn’t a flash of brilliance, rather I noticed that the feeling of stress hadn’t come over me that morning, and I wasn’t on holiday, and it wasn’t a weekend. Instead, I was thinking about Food and Yoga, and what I wanted to share on this site. Humans are social beings, we’ve evolved because of our ability to exchange of ideas. It’s in our nature to share with an intent greater than exchanging ideas for currency. Could it be that inner peace stems from giving away something that you are passionate about? I’m sure it’s not the entire solution – but to what degree could it contribute to lowering stress?

So if there’s any basis to my theory, the next question is: to what degree do you have to devote yourself to your passion? Does it need to be your career, your full-time pursuit? At this point, I don’t think so. I think that as long as you can incorporate it in a meaningful way, you’ve listened to yourself and you’re acting from the right place.

What do you have in you to teach? What knowledge would you give away? This doesn’t have to mean standing in front of a group, some people are not comfortable in the situation. But it could be a blog, a book, magazine articles – an outward stream of communication from yourself to others.

Does this resonate with you? Leave me your comments.