I’m going to go out on a limb with my “advice” but I do feel I understand where you are coming from. It sounds like you’ve intellectualized your situation, the need to “look at life in a new way without fear”, that those are words you tell yourself and are able to even express to me – but your heart hasn’t connected to those words. From it’s own perspective, your heart may also hold these words to be true: it wants you to be free of fear and to growth into happiness. But if you’re not hearing the wisdom of your heart because of chatter in your mind ( “if not this what would you be? what about money? etc etc” ) you’ll remain disconnected from your true will. The energy in “fighting” the mind using your mind is a battle of attrition… You have to put that aside and listen.

Your physical being is even expressing to you the profound need for change, your anxiety is it’s voice. It’s funny – when I think back to my time of fear, before I made the leap, I was not able to see a future for myself. I believed that my life (how I’d constructed it) was killing me, and that I’d die early from it. In retrospect that was probably a bit dramatic, but it’s what I felt at the time, it’s what my body was telling me through the anxiety. When I first got up the courage to start talking about it, my mind with it’s fears and doubts began to lose the battle. You can start talking about it – to a doctor, if there’s a support system at your job, to others close to you. Our interconnections start to manifest… support comes.

I also recommend sitting, meditating. A yoga class can help you learn to be still, or if that doesn’t interest you – maybe DVDs on meditation or Vipassana (http://www.dhamma.org/) – it really transformative for some of my friends. Gradually you take the power away from your fears by recognizing the nature of your own mind. I also recommend the book Courage by Osho. It helped me at the time I needed it most… hugely empowering (http://www.amazon.com/Courage-Joy-Living-Dangerously-Osho/dp/0312205171/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277390823&sr=8-1).

Thanks Dan for writing to me, sharing your situation. As a footnote – another thing I learned is that you don’t necessarily need a destination before you make the leap. When you create open time, without a plan, things arise…. they do! Exciting new opportunities that may have even been there before but you didn’t even let them come into consideration. The mind has too much to deal with, the filter is strong in day-to-day life. Good luck!

Karen

I am a Canadian living in Quebec

I was searching answers that would help finding my new path in life. I have been working all my life always with fears and insecurity up to a point where my body and my psychological balance could not follow anylonger.
It is difficult to express the deep destructive feeling that comes every morning, drop by my subconcious mind into the reallity of my life when opening my eyes.
I know my comments probably seams to you coming from someone desesperate to find answers to how becoming a new me, looking at life in a new way without fear, just knowing that nothing can happen because we are all part on this universe and everything here, is experience that we choose to get through to understand who we are, why we are here and where we go.
I am sorry if this is not appropriate to write you all this, you just came to me with this few words made up for a search over thousand of other sites.
It is wenesday night, I am 53 with one kid at home 17, and I have been working all my life but I can not do this work anymore because stress, anxiaty, fears has made me realize I am just fighthing a battle that never ends. I am not me, I am someone else and I can find myself anymore, I am lost in my mind. I dont see hapiness because I am not connected to the real me that will always be.
Thanks to let me this space to write this – I dont have anybody to tell these though, nobody that would be able to understand

I really like what you are becoming and realizing – Hope you will get more joy finding deeper answers to your quest for hapiness

Good bye
Dan

dave

By chance it has been exactly 3 months since I posted my initial comment and today was my last day at work. I prepared myself mentally for a while to finally quit and I did it!! I am starting yoga classes on Monday and will read the book you had recommended. Thank you so much again for sharing your story… and for encouraging others to share theirs too. I look forward to “glowing” and getting to know myself through focusing more on spiritual rather than career-oriented growth.
Best wishes and congratulations on opening your yoga studio.

I found link of your blog on twitter. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring. I am wondering how many people are in the same boat….trying to make their passion their profession….

Good luck with your teacher training!

Namaste!
-Raj

I too have initially hope students would continue and delve deeper into their own yoga practice. From my experience, it’s only been a few out of a whole bunch that will do so. I have learnt instead that if I enjoyed, live by my personal practice and passion, my inspiration and energy will be a motivation for the students, so far, it’s work that way.

I had a lot of doubts, ups and downs and unbelievable challenges, but I stuck through with the teaching. TIll now, it’s good to know I’m part of the changes I make to a few or more.

Keep faith and hope nearby always, don’t take anything personally, stick to your dreams and live it.

Jac