I’m injured right now. After a stressful work week, sitting tightly bound with tension at my computer, my hip joints feel like pulled pork. I layered on a pretty physical week in yoga and other activities, and now I’m feeling messy. I have a low pain threshold to begin with, but I’m serious. My body hurts.

My yoga instructor told me to take some time off (at least lay-off the more physical classes), but I’m kind of stubborn. Today, considering whether or not I should go to class, I decided that there was still something to gain.

The dance of pain avoidance is exhausting. As class progressed, I became increasingly aware of the fact that I take for granted the ease of movement I normally operate in. This freedom makes room for things other than the visceral practice. But what kind of things does my mind normally do during class? I began to think about my current paradigm.

After 6 months of practice, I’m at a place where a yoga class is like crocheting asanas. The stitch, woven into practice, is a cycle of:

• motivation
• intention
• action
• reflection

The crochet hook moves in cycles, spinning body yarn into a series of poses. The time between poses is not “present” time, it’s bound to reflecting on the previous pose, gathering motivation for the next pose, preparing intention for the next pose, then acting again. It’s all about the poses.

Currently with my injury, my physical self is constantly reminding me “don’t DO that”. But when that quietens, there is untapped potential to take on a new paradigm. I’m going to try to set a new intention: to deprioritize the physical manifestations and up the ante on the mystery in between asanas. I’m not looking to divide the physical and mental, but to find a balance where one is not preoccupied with the other. Lose the crocheted-doilie analogy and take on an ocean, where the trough is as integral to the wave as the crest.

Now all I have to do is get better… I think I will take tomorrow off.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

- Lao Tzu